To the 2020 HS Seniors.

I do not know what this experience was like and I am hurting for your loss. Senior nights, state competitions, spring sports, prom night, graduation, and so much more was taken away from you all because of COVID-19. This time is unique to you and something no one else has experienced before and the grief of it all is real.  So I share some thoughts on what to consider about that big, complex, beast of an emotion: 

First, you do not need to compare your pain to what others have lost during this time. Each one of you has experienced a special loss and all get to have the emotions that follow. Neither one will be greater or less than the other and no need to minimize it, there is no one way to grieve. The anger, sadness, confusion, and numbness can come in waves, certain days are going to hit harder than others, so sit with those emotions and recognize what they are saying and lean into the discomfort. 

The takeaway seniors is there is no hierarchy of pain, it is okay to be sad no matter what you lost during your senior year, you all lost. It is important to feel the emotions and learn how to heal from them.  

I want to list a few ways to cope with the grief:

• Talk about the loss with your parents/guardians, I know they have their own stressors going on with COVID but they still can be good listeners.  And remember parents/guardians,  to be a good listener means you are listening without judgment, hearing their words, sitting in their emotions, and validating their perspective, not yours. 

• Another is connection, even as we start to reopen that does not mean all family homes are, so continue to reach out to friends during this time. Call them, text, facetime, or set up social distant hangs that can fit for all. 

• Journal about your senior year, scrapbook the pictures that were taken, celebrate the year that was there, you deserve that! 

• And last, don’t forget to sleep. Sleep is always the most important coping skill we can do when having emotional struggles and even more so during the adolescent years.  You still have a lot developing in your brain right now and specifically in the emotional center of the brain, so sleep! 

In a time when there is still a lot unknown, it is important you take the time now to process and heal from your grief. With whatever your next chapter of life is, congratulations on what you did accomplish and good luck with what is still yet to be.

• Caitlin Goicoechea-Hart LCPC, NCC