Breaking the Silence: Navigating Maternal Mental Health Wellbeing

Maternal Mental Health is a topic not talked about enough and often misunderstood, yet it's a reality that countless women face every day. I have the honor of helping women by understanding, supporting, and empowering them as they navigate the complexities of motherhood. 

I wanted to take this opportunity during Maternal Mental Health Month to discuss this topic further, educate people, and break the stigma. 

First, let me define Maternal Mental Health(MMH): the emotional well-being of women during pregnancy, childbirth, and the postpartum period. It encompasses a range of mental health symptoms that affect mothers. The range under that MMH umbrella are postpartum depression, anxiety, psychosis, OCD, and PTSD. And Baby Blues, which is commonly used for what a mother is experiencing but tends to minimize it.  

 Here are some common signs to watch for and an excellent time to seek help: 

• Persistent Sadness

• Excessive Worry 

• Difficulty Bonding with the Baby 

• Changes in Sleep or Appetite

• Fatigue or Exhaustion

•  Irritability or Anger

• Intrusive Thoughts or Fears

• Social Withdrawal

• Loss of Interest or Pleasure

Maternal mental health is essential for mothers' and babies' well-being. Untreated issues can affect maternal bonding, infant development, and family dynamics, but seeking help from a healthcare provider specializing in perinatal mental health to get support can help. 

As a therapist, my foremost goal when working with my clients who are mothers is to create a safe and supportive space where they feel understood and validated. I want them to know that they are not alone. Throughout our therapy journey, I help them navigate their thoughts and emotions, teaching techniques to manage intrusive thoughts and regulate their emotions. Grounding exercises and other behavioral strategies become tools they can use daily to cope with challenges. I aim to destigmatize the use of medication for mental health issues, especially during the perinatal and postpartum periods. Drawing from my own experience as a mother who used medication during pregnancy and beyond, I emphasize the importance of informed decision-making. I am very grateful to my healthcare providers, who approach these decisions with empathy and understanding. Thank You! 

I hope we can continue to advocate for breaking the stigma surrounding maternal mental health, encouraging open conversations and acceptance of mental health challenges as a normal part of the motherhood journey with less guilt and shame!

Resources:

• Call or text Postpartum Support International Helpline at 800-944-4773

• Download the Connect App by PSI

• Call or Text 988

• Call or text the Maternal Mental Health Alliance Hotline 833-852-6262

Caitlin Hart LCPC NCC

I Don’t Like the 12-Week Rule

Let's talk about it, *perinatal loss. When we increase  conversations surrounding taboo topics, we increase the understanding and awareness about the complexity of real-life situations. 

In 1988 President Regan declared October, Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness month to recognize the unique grief that parents go through during such a tragic loss. However, there is still such a need for awareness and advocacy around this topic. Oddly enough, this was set to be my October blog topic but little did I know it would end up being so personal. The blog will focus more on miscarriage; however, in the end, it will provide ways to cope and help support others who experience tragic loss as a whole. 

In August My husband and I found out we were expecting. Hearing the heartbeat and seeing the tiny little blob in September was so exciting and new for us. My husband and I began sharing our happy news with friends and family, even though we were in the first trimester. There is a stigma around that, one we all know well, that expecting parents should wait to share their exciting news until after the first 12 weeks, in case something terrible, like a miscarriage happens. However, that doesn’t change the odds that a complication could occur; it just means if something does happen, you and your partner grieve in silence, which is heavy and hard to do. 

Miscarriage is the most common complication of pregnancy, but it remains taboo and is not more openly discussed.  When we avoid vulnerable topics, it eliminates our opportunity to learn how to heal from it or even how to support others experiencing it. About 10-25% of clinical pregnancies result in a miscarriage, and 80% are in the first trimester. So when I went in for my second appointment at 11 weeks, and my doctor could not find the heartbeat, we became a one in four statistic. 

Let’s talk more about the “12-week rule'' that I do not support. First, I want to be clear that I understand that sharing vulnerable news is a personal choice and one you get to choose for yourself and your family. 

I believe the 12-week rule supports a narrative, much like social media that only joyous things happen to us in life. And we are minimizing the support that could be, and is deserved, for a mother at any stage in her pregnancy. When we support the silence of not sharing uncomfortable sad news, we do not learn how to cope or help others. Opening up about loss and talking about grief creates a sense of connectedness during an otherwise isolating time. We often do not share the bad times as a society, and minimize opportunities to normalize taboo topics that no longer should be. When my husband and I began sharing our heartbreaking news that we lost the baby, the support from our community made it less heavy. It didn’t take our pain away or change the outcome of what was, but it reminded us how whole we were in such a broken state. 

What to avoid saying to an individual experiencing perinatal loss- 

• Avoid any statements that follow “At least” As Brené Brown states, this is silver lining, and when we silverline “someone else's current pain, it completely invalidates their experience.”

• Avoid “future” statements such as “Time will heal all pain,” “It will all be okay one day,” “Everything happens for a reason.”  Lean into the discomfort of the now. Because right now, they are suffering, and they aren't thinking of anything in their future. 

• Avoid statements, including religious or spiritual views. Often when an individual is experiencing a tragic loss, there comes a moment of religious or spiritual distress. This pain can bring on guilt or shame, which can trigger or heighten an already occurring religious or spiritual crisis within. 

What to  say to an individual experiencing perinatal loss  

• It is okay to say, “you don’t know what to say,” and just simply let them know you are there when they need you. 

• Remind them to be kind to themselves through their thoughts and self-care needed during this time. 

• Follow-up with them, often we don’t check back in after some time has passed in fear we might “make them sad by bringing it up.” This isn't true; they will heal but not forget, so they are thinking about it still, and you reaching out just provides more connections for healing. 

For the parents who have experienced the loss- 

• Be patient with yourself. There is no timeline for healing. 

• Remember, there is no hierarchy of pain, miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss, this is your pain, and it all is heartbreaking.

• Seek mental health counseling as a couple or individual 

• Find guidance within your religious or spiritual paths. 

•  Get some rest, eat healthy, engage in something active to move your body.

• Remember your baby, your way, plant a tree, write a letter, have a service, or light a candle.

The stigma and silence surrounding perinatal loss often makes experiencing the loss even harder. But you are not alone; My husband and I were not, and are not alone. 

Caitlin Hart LCPC, NCC

*Perinatal Loss includes miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss 

https://www.acog.org/

Brené Brown- https://brenebrown.com/